Religious Conversion

By Christopher R Rice

Hi, I usually do my writing at Starfucks. And Death Row (now known as Google) is the label that pays me. The ads in the far left column are from Googles ad division AdSense. They are the ones that keep threatening to remove their ads if I don't comply by removing torture pictures committed by US personnel or the other day they demanded that I take down my ad for Viagra because it's of a sexual nature. I don't watch TV because it's against my religion but I'm sure that I've seen ads for Viagra on CNN and ABC. But I even had a prude reader make a rude comment about my sex ads and my weed ads. SMH.

I'm very spiritual but neither sex nor drugs are seen as bad in Gods (Jah) eyes. She created both and even commanded us to have sex and reproduce. So I'm very confused. Upon further research it turns out that people who complain about sex ads are always the people who can't get any to save their lives. Even when they try to pay for it the girl turns them down and says 'no, I don't put out on the first date'. Same is true with the weed ads, the people who complain are the ones that have a stick stuck up their arse.

But that's not what I came here to talk about today. At the Starfucks where I do my work, there are a couple of Jehovah Witness cult members. And they sit there for hours and hours doing work for their cult. It's not really work 'cuz they don't get paid, at all. Well, they might get a star or something like they give to Boy Scouts or military service members, some worthless piece of tin. But no cash for their time or their labor.

I see one of the Witness girls later on working at her real job at Del Flacos. She works there to support herself and then gives up all of her free time working for nothing. Sounds ridiculous huh? Funny thing is I'm guilty of the same thing. See I've been working elsewhere to support my writing since it doesn't pay. I only make about $20. a month from those ads. Death Row, oops I mean Google keeps the rest.

And I've been working, researching, writing, publishing and promoting for hours and hours. Which turned into weeks, months and years, I've even convinced my girl friend to work for free, helping me post this crap around the web. In the hopes that Americans would see the truth, rise up and take their country back. And stop allowing these rich c*cks*ck*rs to rob us all blind.

But I have a new religion that does not allow me to work for free.

When no one rose up with me, I expected at least some monetary assistance. I foolishly jumped through Paypals hoops to get a donation button on my blog. But no donations ever came in. So I used my PayPal button on my sex site (which I was told to get rid of if I wanted to be taken seriously politically). At my sex site my PayPal button raked in hundreds of dollars. Pry a little over $1,000.00 in less than 3 months. But Paypal does not allow their services to be used for any x-rated related products and they suspended my account.

So I bought a website through GoDaddy (don't go there, customer service is great but the products s*ck) and my girlfriend opened a bank account just so I could get a new PayPal button on my new website. To date, I've received 3 donations. Two came from my How to Beat Prostitution Sting article for $5.00 each. And this blog received a fifty dollar donation from another webmaster.

My readers don't seem to think that my work is worth their money and I don't see the streets clogged with protesters. And it's against my religion to work for nothing. So I guess you can go back to dealing with the cops and the government on your own. You've done a great job so far, of packing the jail cells that is.

I was talking with an acquaintance type friend thing last night about how much America sucks and I can't stand living here any more. And he said something like "well, at least we still have our freedom". I said "What freedom? Every time anyone tries to 'peacefully assemble to redress their grievances'  as guaranteed in our Bill of Rights, what happens? They send an army of pigs to intimidate you, mace you in the face and shoot tear gas (chemical warfare) at you." And my friend acted dumb like he had no idea what I was talking about. So I said "what you don't remember the student protesters protesting high tuitions and getting mace in the face. Or the tear gas canisters in Ferguson? Or the curfew they set on your Constitutionally guaranteed rights? Your rights are a hallucination in your own mind."

Then he has the gall to bring up North Korea. I'm like OMG here we go again. The only way anyone can ever make America look good is to compare us to some third world hell hole. But that's not the worst part. Because just 5 minutes ago, you (my friend) were complaining about how the government lied to you about WMD, 9/11 and Saddam, marijuana and a whole host of other lies. And the only things that you know about N. Korea came from where? From the very people who you just said have lied to you repeatedly. Damn are Americans the dumbest people on this planet or what?

Why don't you try comparing us to any other industrialized country and see where we stand then, huh? Because you know that America is not number one as your religion preaches to you, we are in last, not even second or third. Some joker at Readit tried to pull the same crap by comparing our electricity usage to people living in mud huts. I'm like really, why not compare us to Canada or France or Germany or Japan. We are 5% of the worlds population and we consume 25% of the worlds resources. That's the figure that jackal at Readit didn't like.

Stop comparing us to third world hell holes that aren't even the size geographically of one of our states. You d*mb f*cks, it makes you look retarded. Which is what Americans are, retarded. I've got proof. When they hacked Ashley Madison there were over 10,000 accounts from government employees alone. These are guys that are married and still can't get laid. So they paid a cheating site that has no female account holders to get them laid. Retards. (all female accounts at Ashley Madison .com were all created on the same day by the same IP address)

Can't defeat Al Qaeda or the Taliban or ISIS. Been fighting for over a decade now and still can't beat 'em. Well ya' kno' w'at my Pa always told me? If ya' can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Dumb f*cks, kick rocks and stay off my blog you worthless pieces of garbage. I HATE AMERICANS you all s*ck and guess what, I'm bangin' your wife!

That's right, she's right here now by my side and she's a real freak too. Yeah my girlfriend is your wife. Dumbass. Happy 4th b*thces. Love Chris

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