Hillary Clinton Dead at 70

By Christopher R Rice

LOS ANGELES, Sept 25 (Reuters) - Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton born October 26, 1947 an American politician and the nominee of the Democratic Party for President of the United States in the 2016 election. She served as the 67th United States Secretary of State from 2009 to 2013, the junior United States Senator representing New York from 2001 to 2009, First Lady of the United States during the presidency of husband Bill Clinton from 1993 to 2001, and First Lady of Arkansas during his governorship from 1979 to 1981 and from 1983 to 1992. Dead at age 70.
Clinton, born in Chicago and raised in the suburban town of Park Ridge, Illinois, Clinton attended Wellesley College, graduating in 1969, and earned a J.D. from Yale Law School in 1973. After serving as a congressional legal counsel, she moved to Arkansas, marrying Bill Clinton in 1975. In 1977, she co-founded Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families. She was appointed the first female chair of the Legal Services Corporation in 1978, and, the following year, became the first woman partner at Rose Law Firm. As First Lady of Arkansas, she led a task force whose recommendations helped reform Arkansas's public schools, and served on several corporate boards, succumbed to complications from Alzheimer's disease, which she had battled privately for the past three years, the statement said.
Clinton’s husband told the Associated Press that she died late Sunday in Los Angeles, California, due to complications from Alzheimer’s disease. The family went on to say that the decision to conceal Hillary’s condition from the public until her death "was pure vanity."
Trump, who was Clinton’s most open critic, took to Twitter shortly after news broke of his rivals death. Telling his supporters "this may be another trick by Crooked Hillary." Ms. Clinton did not reply.  
Hillary is survived by Bill and Chelsea. Underground Newz contacted the DNC for comment and they released this statement: "no worries, we have more body doubles." Not satisfied I spent hours on the phone trying to talk to a real person, on a Sunday night. When I finally got through, I said look, Hillary's dead, don't you think that will hurt her chances of winning in November. Her campaign manager told me to "check the polls". I said for what? He said "this news has sent Hillary's numbers through the roof."
I said, I don't know, what will you do for the debates? He said, "body double." So I pressed him, what about the family and the media all saying that she is dead? Her campaign manager said to me, "look kid, who do you think Americans would rather vote for, a dead Hillary or a living a hole?"

UPDATE: It was rumored that Hillary had mysteriously come back to life when her body double was seen giving a speech to a crowd at the UCLA campus. Upon hearing of Ms. Clintons death her body double supposedly said "well my work here is done" at which point she turned into a reptilian alien being and slithered off the stage. Film at 11.

Related article: WikiLeaks: Trumps Tax Returns Disclosed

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